Accomplishments.

  Next post will have pics, well probably. I'm fighting a bug that all my kids have had. Right now the score is Bug 2, Me 0. This is the second day, so I am hoping to feel better by tomorrow. I'm teaching a grossology unit at the kids school, and I'm not all that into it because I feel bad. Tomorrow we are touring the hospital lab which all the kids are excited about.

Last week was a week of accomplishments. My struggling reader has made tremendous strides. I'm super proud. It was just crazy, and his teacher and I have met several times to figure out how to help him. He had zero fluency. They are supposed to have a fluency score of 80% and he had 14%. You'd listen to him read and think that there is no way he is grasping any of this, and then he'd get every single question right. So, it became a question of bumping him back to easier books, or letting him struggle with the harder books? At first we did one of each, but eventually we decided to scale back to easier books. I want my kids to enjoy reading. Not for it to be a daily torture session.

Angie got her bridge up kick over in gymnastics. It was so exciting. She is in a group of kids much much younger than her. One of her coaches praised her leadership skills, but I could tell that she was getting discouraged. Her other coach told me that gymnastics is really hard at her age, and even girls who are much more advanced lose skills because they lose power for a little while because their bodies are changing so rapidly. Anyway, it was a huge confidence booster for her and for me a parent. I got to say, see if you work hard, eventually it pays off. I'm curious to see what she does next

Zac and Aiden's flag football team won the championship on Saturday. I was more excited that the other team lost than that we won. I'm not a sports fiend, so let me explain. These are boys K-2, and I felt that the other team was unsportsman like. Zac was punched in the chest, Aiden was pushed down for no reason. This is flags and the rules say no contact. I can understand boys getting a little excited and tripping each other up etc, when they go for a flag, but my friends son was hit in between plays just because he pulled the kids flag. It happened right in front of the ref and nothing happened. We made a touchdown and the coach had the ref call a penalty flag for illegal blocking. It was behind the scrimmage, the ref didn't see it, but he overturned the touchdown. Then the other team worked the clock for EIGHT minutes. They had time for one last play, and then they fumbled! Karma. So, we won 16-14. I tell my kids that you can't always make people do right, but you still have to set a positive example and not let it get to you. Again, not a sports expert, but I think that flag should be about playing as much as possible and that every kid should play. One of their kids sat on the sidelines the entire game.

Nothing this brag about

     Well, I'm 8 weeks into my class. I have to say that I am enjoying this second half of the class which is focusing on legal and ethical issues much more than I thought I would. I was doing really well in the class, and then this week I had a quiz that I made a 72 on and it really dropped my average. I never have done well on quizzes where all the answers are right, and you have to pick the most right, or where they ask you which you will do first. In nursing, the "most right" answer is situational, and we often work as a team and in reality there is no 1st, 2nd, 3rd, but rather each person takes a task and carries it out all at the same time.

     Going back to college in your late 30's is so much different than going to college in your late teens. I am a much better reader now, I have better time management skills, and my life experiences add interest to my written papers. While I am better able to accomplish the work, it is so much much harder. Online classes give you the flexibility to do the work at your own pace, in your own time, but I have more assignments than I ever had in a traditional class. We also have discussion boards to interact with each other. If you know anything about my antisocialness, then you know that this is the hardest part for me. And let's not even mention how hard it is to balance home, work and family without adding in school.

     I'd like to say that I have lots of help and support from my family, but that only comes every few weeks after a meltdown, and it doesn't last long. Just the way it is when you have worked so hard to make yourself irreplaceable I guess. Totally kidding. The reality is that there are some things that just don't get done unless I do them. I'd like to be able to "brag" about the kids in this blog, but we have had a rough few weeks, and are experiencing some important growth trials right now. I have a GT kid in tutorials for math and other struggling to read. I have a kid with severe anxiety and can't cope. Another who wants to only do activities in which they can come in first. Another prone to fits if they don't get their way and one that is extremely sarcastic and disrespectful. The last several weeks have been kind of rough for me and not exactly what I'd call joyful parenting. Sometimes I wish my kiddos were more cookie cutter. It's interesting that they are all different, but it means that each time they face the same trials, I have to come up with a new way to help them so its like failing over and over.

Hopefully, I can write in a couple weeks with some proud moments, but right now I got nothing.

My New School Year

In my last brief blog, I talked about the kids starting back to school, but I didn't talk about me going back to school. Yikes, I know. Since Emi is doing a half day pre-k, I decided that I would start working on my BSN. I went to LVN school after I graduated from A&M, and then I earned my ADN from Angelo State over 11 yrs ago. I was always pre-something, and nursing was a job to do in the meantime. There are rumors that my hospital will elimate associate degree level nurses in the next 8 years. This has not been confirmed by higher ups, but I believe it is possible. So, I decided its now or never. In 8 years I will have TWO college age kids.

I am attending UTA and all my classes are online. It's a love/hate relationship. I love the instant feedback from professors/coaches, and I love the library access. I was able to instant message a librarian and she was a great help to me. She then emailed the transcript of our conversation to me, and I was able to refer to it while writing. But, it is much much more work than going to class, about 20 hours of work a week for ONE class. APA format is so complicated to me. I have to check and recheck my references and even then I'm still not sure I'm doing it right. I have done very well in my first 5 weeks, but I'm already trying to decide how much I can slack off and still make a decent grade. Sad, but true. I am very flawed this way. But, I think about my kids and the example that I want to set, and I trudge on. Don't be like mom!

It has been good for me, because I am starting to think of nursing as a profession rather than a job, and that is a good thing.

New School Year

Well, school has started up again for us. I am the mom of a 6th, 5th, 2nd, K and Pre-k child. I am also taking college classes again. Shew!

The kids are adjusting, with Aiden being the most tired. As a kindergartener, its his first day of all day school. Angie started band this year, and is playing the clarinet. She says this is her favorite class.

Here's a rundown of activities, hopefully I will get pics up soon. Aiden and Zac are playing flag football. Aiden, Emi, and Angie are taking gymnastics. Zac is doing boxing and taking drum lessons. Tony is taking piano lessons, fencing, and doing cardioboxing with Brian. Angie is taking voice lessons and has signed up for the 4H food challenge. Each kid is only in one or two things, but when you multiply x5 its craziness.

My three oldest kids will be in GT this year. That means lots of projects. I have agreed to teach a unit called grossology. Ewww. Wish me luck. Somehow I also got roped into being on the parent involvement commitee.

I just booked a cruise for February. That's going to keep me going until then.

NGU

NGU. Never Give Up. That's the phrase of our high school girls softball team. I guess you see phrases like this a lot in sports.  I've been thinking about this ideal quite a bit. Parenting is tough. We want so many things for our kids. My kids are reluctant to try new things, and if there is something they aren't good at, they won't do it at all. I wonder where I would be today, if just once, someone told me, not to give up. Example,

I have short little legs, asthma and am super slow. I never could run a mile in school. What if someone told me, you don't start at a mile? Just alternate walking and running and eventually if you don't give up, you will be able to do it? Or, it doesn't matter if your slow, just keep going and eventually you will be able to add speed. Or yeah, your brain is telling you to stop. Its normal, you aren't dying, tell it to shut up.

The point is, if we only do the things we are good at, we will never know what we can accomplish. Do the things you love, even if you aren't the best. Or, in a small town, even if the judging is unfair.

I'm not pointing the finger, or blaming anyone. It's something that I honestly didn't know growing. I didn't realize it until I began to try to inspire my own kids. I think they teach me more than I teach them.

This is a great quote from Krissy over at the venspired learning blogs:

Try.

Even when its hard. Even when you think you might fail. Even when you feel like you're not going to reach your goal. Because trying? Taking a risk? Reaching a goal? That's learning.


And, its never too late.

Ah, blogspot has updated. Lets see if I can figure this out.

End of the school year is quickly approaching. Summer is around the corner. Busy. Busy. But it's mostly good. Last week Brian and I joined the gym. It's rough going, we don't have a routine yet, and I hate every minute of it, but after, I am so glad I pushed through. I'm not weighing, I'm not measuring. I may change my mind later, but right now, I don't want to track progress. It won't take much for me to get discouraged and quit.

So far this month, I celebrated my birthday, mother's day, and Emi's birthday. whew. Here's a few pics. The top two are the end of year recital. The bottom is a vortex cannon they made in GT.

Spring, oh how I love and hate this time of year! I am taking a break from my giant load of dishes and laundry to blog. We will see how long I hold up with a five year old at my hip asking tons of questions. Days like this, I would give anything for five minutes alone. Ahh, he's going to nana's to look a baby kittens, but will be right back. Type like the wind!!! LOL. Yeah, I know hardly anyone is reading this anymore, but its still good for me. I can't say everything random I want to say on FB and now that I'm on twitter, I can barely figure out how to follow it. It's almost seizure inducing.

We are knee deep in tball/softball/baseball right now. Tony is playing out of guilt because there weren't enough kids to make a team for Zac. He actually didn't do too bad yesterday and its good for him to get outside once in a while. Zac hit 9 out of 10 balls thrown to him. Aiden's tball team is.....interesting. There are 18 kids on the field. I asked the person in charge of the league, and she said that she only had forms and money for 11. Hmmm. I guess I will stay out of it and grin and bear. Angie had an off game in softball last week, but overall, her team is doing pretty well. There is one team that they never beat, and I'd like to see it happen. They aren't better, but the girls end of letting them into their heads, and end up beating themselves. Their coach argues every point, every play, and the girls in the dug out are just rude sometimes. One girl got hit with a ball, and they yelled "take that, you deserve it." I just don't understand people. But, each year our girls are a little better, and have just a little more self confidence.

This time of year, is the fun stuff at school. Field trips, etc. Friday Angie and her friend are going to the movies with their principal because of AR points. Angie and Tony will have a music recital next week. Today is Emi's last day of Tuesday school, so there's a program tonight. Not sure if she is going to pre-k, we are on the waiting list because the school is now requiring kids to qualify. Ugh. I really want her to go, but she will be ok if she doesn't. We will do another year of Tuesday school.

I've been trying to put together a summer reading list. Taking suggestions. I haven't found a single list on the internet that I like. I'm looking for "smart" books. Books that an adult won't mind reading, but geared toward children. Books that aren't just great stories, but teach kids about something, a period of time, science, how we relate to others. I've found several "gifted kids" lists, but usually the main character is gifted in some way and these books are about how its ok to be different. Well, we (including me) already know what thats like.

Well, unfortunately the laundry isn't going to fold itself.

Happy Easter

Our spring break was pretty tame. I worked the beginning of the week. Wednesday we did basic stuff like grocery shopping. These pics are a few that we took on Thursday when we went on a 4H photography field trip. We didn't spend much money, but we walked tons and the kids were tired. I think Angie got some great pics. We will see. We really need to do more inexpensive day trips. Today we went to the lake and had a picnic with friends. We will soon be on the downhill slide for the rest of the school year.

Yeah Yeah yeah

I know that my posts have been lacking, uninspired for a while. There are things that I just don't want to relive and hash out on paper. Not because they are bad, but because its just not interesting. No brilliant parenting tips here. I'm just winging it, trying to do the best I can, and I'm pretty sure most of the things I do will never grace the pages of a book. Unless I were to write one titled "Yeah that's really not gonna work for me." haha. Have a child and the mommy wars begin, especially if you really want to do it right. You know better than your parents. Oh, wait, were they winging it to? Doing the best they could in the situation they were in? Nah. That can't be right.

I've come to terms with the facts: I liked using diapers. I wasn't able to breast feed my newborns, much less send some in my 3yr old's thermos to Tuesday school. I love the idea of homeschooling, but it wasn't meant to be for our family, and I fell in love with our kids school....public school. Shudder. I have no idea what attachment parenting really is. Yeah, we had a sling but my husband used it more than I did and and while a couple of our kids have "coslept" with us it was not by my choice. Those little bodies produce a lot more heat than you'd think.

I could go on and on painting a picture of how "bad" of a parent that I am. No really I could. But, somehow, I have great kids. Yeah I know being their mom makes me a wee bit biased, and they aren't perfect, they are kids, after all. But, they are intelligent and kind and funny. Someday they will make great parents. That's everything we're all striving for right? We get caught up in the other stuff, and the hustle and bustle, but really all that matters is the kind of people they grow up to be.

It's been an interesting school year for me. I'm learning to let go and see what they can do. This year, I told the kids that I didn't give a flying flip about their grades, but we would continue to go over the things they missed. Amazing how they take off when they no longer feel pressure to perform a certain way. We've been talking a great deal this year about initiative as well. With technology, there is no reason for them to sit around and wait for someone to teach them. If you're curious look it up. Its ok to go beyond the classroom at home, to delve further into your interests.

Still working on the middle child. We are still figuring each other out. He's not like any of my other kids when it comes to learning. Above average intelligence with a big chip on his shoulder. I keep thinking that one day he will realize that he's younger than his brother and sister, not less. The things that he can't do are things that he can't do YET, because he is younger. And of all things he doesn't like praise. I mean, ever know anyone who doesn't like praise? It shuts him down. You gotta be sneaky about it. After the first six weeks of school, I pretty much left him alone, just doing what had to be done for school. This seems so wrong, but he flourished. It's gotta be his. He has to own his accomplishments. Lately, I've been working a few things in here and there if he asks. Reading a story about bats and his questions and we looked up some very interesting facts. Reading a required story about diego rivera and we looked up pictures of the actual places that were cartoon drawings in the story. And, interesting enough, things that I thought were a waste of time for him in the past, left a bigger impression than I thought. He tells his younger siblings so many interesting things. He is a great teacher. His younger brother is reading because of him.

You can only do so much. They are what they are. So, enjoy today.

New computer, new post

Ok, I know that the pic won't correspond to my post, but my inner geek is in love. We finally broke down and bought a new computer. I was lying down last night and Brian came in and asked me to help him set everything up. When did this reversal occur? When did I become the techie in the relationship? I used to loathe technology and here I am embracing it.

Wednesday was an interesting day. We went to Baylor and found out that Brian has a virus. He has to do treatments to boost his immune system, but I don't want to talk about that other than to say that its been a huge source of stress the last several weeks. Brian also found out that he is going to get to cross train for MRI. This has really put a pep in his step. He has been in an obnoxiously good mood. It's a little more money, but its a different kind of work than he does now. I am excited because I think it will help him stay well.

When we got home from Dallas, Emi handed me an envelope that was in between our doors. A check. A check that we thought we would never see. Not the lotto by any means, but a cushion. We haven't had a cushion in four years. I am a doubter. Its what I do. But Wednesday was a reminder that there are things bigger than me if I just have faith.

Thursday I found out that we lost our neighbor. Oh, how the kids loved him. He will be missed. Yes he was elderly, yes he had health problems, but we weren't ready. We don't know his family, but they have to be hurting.

Brian is still sick, still getting IV antibiotics, but he had a better week this week. His blood counts remained up, and he's pale, but no longer grim reaper green. He's halfway done with his last block of maintanence treatments. Praying he makes it through with no more hiccups and that this is it for a while. His always positive attitude is taking a beating here lately.

Paid off my student loan today. woo hoo!!!!! Exciting. Getting back on the Dave Ramsey band wagon. I am going to take a much more active roll in budgeting and bill paying etc. Frankly, Brian doesn't have the energy to do it right now. Praying that I am able to work some extra, as long as it doesn't burden him.

Kids are doing well.

Oh, blog, I know I'm neglecting you. Truthfully, we are having technical difficulties at the Calfa abode. We are at a crossroads, needing a new computer. Funny, I guess its not technically a NEED, but I feel like it is. We have a little netbook, slow, but we can stream, check our bank, pay bills etc. We also have a borrowed laptop, and the phones. So, we are by no means cut off from the world, but I am impatient with the time it takes to load this blog up on any of these devices, especially when a quick FB update can be done in a matter of seconds. But, truthfully, I can't always say what I want to say on FB. I can say whatever I want here, I don't think anyone is reading anyway:)

So, today, I am going to skip the health updates (Brian is really sick and taking IV antibiotics right now) write about something Brian and i talk about at home often: Our kids are smart. Not just one or two of them, ALL five of them are very smart. As we had one, then two, then three, then four enter school, this is how we started to acknowledge it as well.

Our kids are receiving a public school education. It's just how the dice rolled, and I am getting comfortable with it. Do we supplement? You bet your bottom dollar! Truthfully, sometimes more than others, and its been a learning process for sure. And, when I find something that works great for one kid, it doesn't work for the next one. So, for now, our focus is BALANCE. First and foremost, our kids are going to be kids. Yeah they will probably grow up with things they hate about us, but hopefully, there are a few things that they love as well.

I read a blog recently about a mom frustrated because her 13 yr old won't take their last 3 classes to graduate from college. Think about this.....what a proud moment....your 13 year old accomplishes what all those other 20 somethings did, and probably made better grades....what comes to mind? Pride? But, this isn't your accomplishment, its theirs. And what did they sacrifice to get there? This particular kid, never saw a Disney movie because it had no educational benefit. And, what do you do with your life when you finish college at 13? Are you free labor to the university in the form of "research"? Do you get an advanced degree? Another degree? You fastworwarded your life to live in limbo? Now,I'm not saying that this is wrong. It may be just fine for some people. It's just not a perfect fit for us.

Yes,we will do some advanced testing. We may do some college work early. But, we aren't going to go overboard.

This week I told the kids that I expect them to read one piece of nonfiction a week. Crazy, because that's all my daughter read last year, and we encouraged her to read fiction once in a while. Now she is only reading fiction. Again: balance. This backfired, but in a way even better than I ever imagined. She read her nonfiction: to Zac and Aiden! I walk into the living room and she is reading them a book on mummies! But she is really getting into this and explaining the mummification process to them in much greater detail than the book and they were loving it! So, I didn't need to worry.

Tony and Zac are reading to each other at night. I love it. And it frees me up to read stuff I want to read!