Ok, I don't know where this blog will take us, my mind is kind of a jumble at the moment. I read some of my back blogs and decided that I need to quit promising pictures that I never produce. Sorry about that. This cool weather has me drinking coffee again, and it probably isn't helping matters that I am on my third cup. Thanks again to my father in law, Sal, for your wonderful gift. My coffee still isnt as good as yours though. :)

First, I know you are concerned about Brian. His first treatment went pretty well. I think one of the worst part for him is the hung over feeling for the pre-meds. They make him so tired, but then he can't sleep, partially from all the weird jerky movements I think. Then the next day, he's just kind of moving through a fog. He had to take a day of PTO Saturday so that he could be near the bathroom. He hasn't exactly built up much since he's been back to work, but I am taking a class in October so I will have 16 extra hours of pay that month, so he won't have to feel guilty about being off work.

I am enjoying being part time. I'm not going to lie, its a HUGE cut in pay and we really have to stick to our budget, but it is so worth it. I had hoped to pick up some extra days here and there to start building our savings up, but that hasn't panned out and in fact I was even cancelled one day. First time in the 4 years I've been there. Census has been really crazy at work. One day we are busting at the seams and the next day our floor is half empty. This is probably the first time I can say that I am seeing the economy affect my job.

Each week when I go to work, the kids and I have this song and dance we do where they pretend that they are going to miss me. I always come up with something. You like having electricity? Groceries etc, well then I have to go to work. Last week, I said, "you like having gymnastics and voice lessons, Angie?" well then, I have to go to work. My sweet sweet daughter tells me, "mom, I'd gladly give those things up to have you here with me". Awww. She must have gotten her sweetness from Brian, because she sure didn't get it from me.

I went with my parents this weekend to Matagorda. It was really kind of comical and I could really make the national lampoons version of this trip. Dad had to clean mud dobber nests off the trailers ac blades. We spent the night before alternating between roasting and being cool, but having the thing sound like a jack hammer. We got attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes, my parents lost their truck keys, they had a blowout on the way home. The baby kittens almost drown in the bathtub after we've been dropper feeding them for weeks. I really could go on and on. But, really and truly in spite of all that, we managed to have fun. I guess its about finding the good in the bad. The park had a nice playground, a little nature center, and a neat pier. The kids loved the beach and said that they hit the shell jackpot, and I think mom was in heaven too. We got away from technology for a while. We read books and played cards. My phone didn't work there too well, and amazingly I didn't go into withdrawal. I am dreading that make up work from Monday, so next time we may have to venture a little closer to home.

Angie and I started listening to The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate on playaway. We are 4 chapters in and it is such a good story. I know some of you won't want your children reading it because it mentions Mr Darwins book. But, it is a fabulous story set in 1899 Texas, rich with historical Texas and civil war references, as well as references to science. It also focuses on the relationship of a 12 yr old girl and her cantankerous grandfather. So sad that I have to leave for work tonight and have to wait to hear chapter 5.

Pam is taking Brian to his treatment tomorrow and Katie will drive him home. If this week goes like last, I should be able to work Thursday as well. I think my dad will be there Thursday as well since they eliminated his overtime.

Hiccup

Hiccups are a real nuisance, the literal kind and the figurative kind. Well, we've had more than our fair share in this cancer journey. Brian's scan on Friday didn't go as well as expected. He had a small pea sized area show up on the PET scan. His Dr at Baylor was unable to palpate it in the office. He says that it could just be an inflamed lymph node due to a recent virus or because of ant bites etc, but given Brian's history, we have to assume the worst and treat it, unless Brian wants to have a surgeon go in, take it out and have it biopsied which could cause a whole slew of potential problems. So, Brian will be seeing his oncologist in Abilene and this week and setting up maintenance treatments to start soon. Some doctors do maintenance Rituxan once a month. Because of this spot, Brian has to do a more treatment-like maintenance treatment, so he will do Rituxan once a week for 4 weeks and have another scan in December.

Rituxan is a newer medicine known as a monoclonal antibody. The science is fasinating, but it basically only targets the cancer cells. So, it doesnt affect blood counts, you keep your hair, etc. Side affects are similar to a case of the flu....GI stuff, and nasal/sinus stuff. He told Brian that he can still work while he's getting treatments. Funny after seeing everything he's been through to discuss the flu as being no big deal.

December will be 3 years. So much for our kids to go through. Angie was 6 when this started, Tony 5, Zachary 3, Aiden 1 and I was pregnant with Emi. As we unloaded groceries from the car yesterday, Angie says to me, "I know dads cancer is back. You don't have to tell me. If that scan was good, you would have said so already." She shed lots of tears. How hard to be nine, and understand, but not understand.

So, we are trucking along, living everyday to the fullest, and remembering each day to be sure that the people we love know it. I think it finally sank in that we are going to have to deal with this for the rest of our lives. Keep your positive thoughts and wonderful prayers coming our way. We love all of you.

Happy 6th Birthday Zachary!!

Zachary turned 6 last week. He has been talking about his birthday for months. His present wish list was longer than any Christmas list I've seen. While he didnt get anything that was on that list, he recieved a few very nice presents and had shrimp for dinner and chocolate cake per his request. I cannot believe how much he's grown. He loved his legos, his air hog, and his mp3 player. Now if his dad would only get la la lasagna put on there he'd be in heaven. Love you Zachary!!